COVID-19, Children, and the Reopening of Schools - Part II

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A few weeks ago, I wrote about my own personal decision for why I would feel okay with sending my kids back to school if the schools were able to implement recommended public health measures. Three weeks have now gone by and we have again hit new milestones for COVID-19 in the United States and in my home state of GA. We need bold action to stop the community spread. We are going to have to make really tough choices: do we want to go out to eat at a restaurant and host a small party with a few families? Or, do we want to safely send our kids to school eventually? It’s time to mask up, stay home, and start planning NOW for what a safe reopening of schools could look like when we can get community spread controlled and on a downward trajectory.

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COVID-19 and the Reopening of Schools

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Should schools reopen this Fall? For many of us who have been attempting to balance full time work and full-time childcare responsibilities in the middle of this pandemic, this is the million dollar question! As a mother of three kids (ages 4 months, 5 years, and 7 years) attempting to work full-time at home as a doctoral epidemiologist involved in COVID-19 research, with a spouse on the frontlines as an emergency medicine physician, I have been scouring the literature for months looking for data and evidence on this very topic to help inform my own level of risk tolerance for school reopening. I’m going to attempt to answer this critical question in this post.

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A stranger saved me...and my boobs

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I had the cab driver drop me off at the convention center and after paying FIFTY DOLLARS (!!) for that ride, I RAN into the mothers room at the conference. I immediately plugged in. Started pumping. And….very…little…milk. NOOOO! It was like the whole pump was on super low power and I just could not get it to have enough pressure. THE MEMBRANES WERE NOT THE PROBLEM. My pump was just broken. I was ALMOST in tears. My talk started in 10 minutes. I didn’t know what to do. I was 100% CERTAIN I would be leaking as I got up on stage to present to the room of 200+ people on the talk that I had hoped to have the morning to prepare for but clearly had other things to worry about.

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Post-Mother's Day Musings of an Academic Mama

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I am SOOO glad we celebrate Mother's Day. Do I care that it's an over-commercialized Hallmark holiday?  No, no, I definitely do not.  I'm just glad someone made sure we recognize how kick ass moms are that they deserve a national holiday dedicated to their sacrifices. Moms definitely deserve a $5 Hallmark card and everything else that comes with this holiday.  I mean seriously - THIS is what we have been through!

One carnation + beautiful roses on Mother's day

One carnation + beautiful roses on Mother's day

My amazing Mother's Day involved sleeping in until 7:30am (!!!!), breakfast & coffee in bed and adorable handwritten cards by my 3 & 4 year old AND a super cute necklace they apparently picked out, followed by a long run alone (!!!), some great quality family time, and then a quick shopping trip I took (alone!! ahhhhh!!!) trying to find a bathing suit for the upcoming pool season (reminiscent to this experience). No matter, it was a GREAT day with minimal responsibilities (dad fed kids eggs and toast for dinner. NO VEGETABLES! But I did NOTHING #MOMWIN).

This is me, with REALLYYY long arms, petting our dog. No matter it's actually a birthday card.

This is me, with REALLYYY long arms, petting our dog. No matter it's actually a birthday card.

As I returned to work today following this heavenly day, I was in an introspective mood.  It was commencement at my institution, and it brought back memories of my own graduation ceremonies and life before I had kids.  How has becoming a mother changed my life and my academic identity?  How have I changed since becoming a mom? How is my day to day life influenced by my role as a mom?

Deep thoughts, right?

Being a mom is my primary identify. So of course my life has changed, in many ways. Here are a few...

1. I can't work a bazilliion hours a week anymore and be available for the so many meetings that start at 7am or 5pm.  I mean, seriously?  How is this fair? How am I ever going to get ahead if meetings that are so crucial are scheduled at these hours??

2. I am 800% busier.  I cannot BELIEVE I ever thought I was busy in COLLEGE. Or graduate school.  Add kids to the mix?  I am definitely 800% busier, at a minimum. I have to do all the same work (or more), plus I have to pick kids up from school, help them with homework, pack lunches, put them to bed (why won't they just go to BED?!?) and then clean the whole house every single night. And the laundry. It just. won't. end. 

3. Thus, I am a million times more efficient.  Deadline?  Cool.  I'll make it.  How? By not dinking around on the Internet, checking social media, watching TV, or spending time on ALL the emails.  I am so much more motivated during working hours (and when kids are in bed) that I am so much more focused and I work on the things that matter most = most important work + spending quality time with family.

3. I'm more of a boss. Okay, so before I had kids I was quite a bit more timid. Less able to delegate and definitely less bossy.  Now? I'm definitely more bossy because I have EXPERIENCE bossing those "littles" around. Those little ones are not too unlike those grad students you work with - they need structure, and they need someone to tell them what to do.  Like, kids - when you unravel ALL the toilet paper, ya gotta roll it back up.

At least they tried...mom win?

At least they tried...mom win?

4. I'm more forgiving and understanding.  Wow, I think back to pre-kids, and the judgment I had about parents and it's just shameful. Like, why is that kid in a bar right now at 8pm when they should be sleeping? (NOW: NOT MY PLACE TO JUDGE ANYTHING!).  Or, why doesn't that person come to this 7am meeting?!?! (Now: OMG WHY DID SOMEONE CALL A 7AM MEETING?!?!) or lame excuse not being here in the middle of the day because your kid had a "doctor's appointment" (NOW: WHY ARE MY KIDS SICK ALL THE TIME?!?).  

5. I have been through childbirth. Twice. And also all the aftermath. AND, bonus, my kids are reasonably happy and healthy and ALIVE. Thus, I feel UNSTOPPABLE (Cue my theme song for today).  Being a mom is the best and hardest job ever. If I can do that, I can do anything.

My own mom was a stay at home mom who is the most amazing mom in the entire world, and I constantly compare myself to her and always feel like I fall short.  But while my first identify is a mom, my second identify is most definitely an academic. I absolutely love the work I do, and I love the combination of academic mama. 

So happy post-mother's day to all the academic mamas out there. You are doing GREAT.