I wrote this post several years ago, but at the time, it was too much to post and share. I’m posting now in case it is helpful for other parents!

June, 2019

Last week my husband and I took a couple of days off of work to take our two kids to Great Wolf Lodge to celebrate my daughter’s 6th birthday. If you haven’t been, this place is EPIC and a fantastic getaway for kids. They have a huge waterplay area for kids, a wave pool, playground, and waterslides both big and small. I have been traveling a lot this Spring for work and had way too many deadlines, and I was really excited to take a couple of days away from work and spend time with my family.

The epic Great Wolf Lodge in all of its glory!

We arrived in the early afternoon, checked in to our camp-themed room (complete with bunk beds!), and headed to the indoor waterpark area. After about 4 hours of swimming, a dozen times around the lazy river, and watching my kids have a blast on the waterslides, the kids wanted to head to the outdoor pool.

So we did. There was NO deep end in this outdoor pool, which was nice. My kids are pretty good swimmers, though my just 4-year old isn’t quite as much of a fish as his big sister. But he’s a good enough swimmer, he has had lessons, and we go swimming several times a week. This kid has no fear of the water, and he is known to go off the diving board in the deep end with all the big kids/teenagers and swim over to the edge by himself, no problem. What was great (I thought) was that the kids could TOUCH the bottom of this pool with their feet. Also, Great Wolf Lodge has lifeguards EVERYWHERE. And in this particular pool, they had 3 of them for this one pool, standing right next to the edge, walking back and forth their short 5-10 feet section. Enough to make a parent feel pretty safe, right?

My husband and I were sitting and relaxing in those white chaises that are in the water, and the kids were swimming/walking along the shallow end just in front of us. In the first 20 minutes or so we were in the water with them, and then they wanted to try out the relaxing chairs on the edge so we all made our way over there. Then, the kids were swimming right in front of us, and walking (or bouncing") along the bottom as we sat next to them. We DID NOT TAKE OUR EYES OFF OF THE KIDS THE ENTIRE TIME. And yet, my son almost drowned. I keep replaying in my head what happened next and thinking that if just one little thing went another way, we would have lost our son. Here’s how it happened…

Big sister started walking and swimming towards the other end of the pool (in this picture, swimming from the right side to the left side). Maybe 15-20 feet across. So, of course, little brother wanted to follow. I didn’t think anything of it as he started walking/bouncing along to follow her, because HE COULD TOUCH THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL. No big deal, right?? Well, unbeknownst to me, the pool actually changed depths somewhere. Only by a mere 3 inches, but it changed. That 3 inches is enough to make a BIG difference for a kid who is only 42 inches tall to begin with.

Again, my husband and I were BOTH watching the kids. Big sister was about 5 feet away from her brother and swimming in and out of the water having a great time. My son had sort of walked/bounced his whole way over to follow her. All I saw was that he was bouncing. But after a minute or so I realized he was remaining in the same place, and the water looked deeper. So much so that part of his head was going under water. It turns out he got to a place he could NOT touch, and was desperately trying to gasp for air, in what appeared to be “bouncing” up and down in this water that I thought was the shallow end and entirely the same depth as the area he just came from. But his head was tilted back, NOT forward, and he looked like he was a tad lower in the water than I had remembered him being. I realized he had been in the same spot for awhile and wasn’t moving forward. I said “something’s wrong!” to my husband and I jumped in as fast as I could after him. Perhaps a split second after me, the lifeguard must have realized the same thing and jumped in after him too. There was another adult near him maybe 3 feet away who also did not realize he was really struggling to keep his head above water. I got to him as fast as I could to pull him up out of the water. My husband was a step behind me and the lifeguard was there at the other side a split second later. My son gasped for air as I held him and pulled him on the side of the pool. The lifeguard stayed close for several minutes to make sure he was okay. I kept saying “Are you okay? Are you okay?” and it took him a minute before he could say anything. I don’t remember exactly what he said but he was near crying and I think it was “You weren’t there!”

I felt like the worst mother ever. How could I have let this happen? He was clearly distressed. We took him to the shade and the lifeguard and a few other people came to check on him. He did not get back to himself for ~15 minutes. I hugged him tightly and asked him - did you swallow any water? How many times did you try to come up for air? And all he did was hold up both hands (TEN, then TEN again). This poor kid. I didn’t sleep a wink that night and kept replaying the incident in my head, but with a different outcome (what if I wasn’t watching him??).

What’s crazy is that THIS DID NOT LOOK LIKE DROWNING. And thank goodness I had remembered that powerful story that had circulated on the Internet a few years ago about this very fact. There is no kicking, screaming, waving of arms and drama. It’s silent. Which makes it even more horrifying because there can be dozens of adults and other kids around and no one can realize the kid needs help. Since this incident, I’ve read a lot about this. The CDC estimates that 10 people die per day from unintentional drowning, including two children (<14 years of age) per day, in the United States. An estimated 5 children per day experience non-fatal drowning events, which can cause severe brain injury, learning disabilities, or permanent loss of basic functioning.

How can we prevent it? The solutions involve multiple levels of prevention. Starting at the top and highest impact — we need policies that promote water safety. Florida has this figured out. Residential swimming pools must have barriers/fences at least 4 feet tall, and residents must also have motion sensor/alarms that go off when someone enters the water. Learning to swim is critical for water safety. We need communities and systems to offer low cost swimming lessons for children so they can learn to swim at an early age. We need public pools and places like this water park to create pools that don’t change by 6 inches (!) without clear warning, or to not design a shallow pool with any change in depth at all. Parents can do their part by ensuring that they know the signs of drowning, and ALWAYS have someone on guard to watch. A friend of mine who lives in FL and frequently attends pool parties for her children said that the parents have a rotating system of every 15 minutes having a parent serve as a lifeguard. 15 minutes of no phones, no distractions, and keeping a watchful eye on preventing a toddler who can’t swim jumping in, or the rough and tumble of elementary-aged kids who may be good at swimming usually, but not when other kids are hanging on them in the water or if they get injured while playing.

I am incredibly thankful that my son walked away just a little shaken, but healthy and fine. I share this story not to make anyone overly worried, but as a reminder to parents and others that drowning does not look like how it is portrayed in the movies.

Cool kid - my 4 year old walking out of Great Wolf Lodge after a great weekend (minus a little scare in the water).

Do you have any scary water experiences? Any water safety tips to share, or recommendations for what policies should be advocated for to decrease any opportunities for these risky incidents? Please drop a comment and share if so.